Are you wondering what is the best way to ask a girl to hang out?
The most important thing is to ask her out with a fun confident demeanor. If you’re bringing a fun vibe and you assume she’ll want to hang out when you ask her, you’re most likely to receive a positive response, especially when you ask to her face.
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There are other less important factors to consider as well, and we’ll touch on these during the rest of the guide.
Why is Your Vibe the Most Important Factor?
Your vibe is another word for your demeanor, or the energy you’re putting out in an interaction. The reason why you need a fun, playful and confident vibe is because women respond to EMOTIONS more than logic.
If you have a fun, playful and confident vibe when you’re talking to her, she’s most likely going to enjoy whatever you have to say. She’s going to feel your good emotions and that’s going to make her want to keep talking to you.
When you ask a woman to hang out, she’s going to look inside to see how she feels about doing that. If you’ve been pumping her with good emotions, just before you ask her to hang out, she’s definitely going to say YES.
Don’t underestimate the power of pushing a woman’s emotional buttons like this. Women (and men, to a lesser extent) will make illogical decisions when it feels good in the moment.
This includes agreeing to a date with a man she’s just met. In some circumstances, it includes going home with a man she’s just met. Even if he’s not her ‘type’. More than anything, women will follow their hearts, not their heads.
With this in mind, you want to aim to invite a girl to hang out in the moment where she’s having the most fun. Maybe that’s after you’ve told her a joke or as you blow away with a charming but playful tease.
If you ask her to hang out too soon in an interaction, you’ll not have given yourself time to make an emotional impact on her. If you do it as an interaction has died down and become logical, she’ll also be less likely to agree. So, it’s important to hit that emotional sweetspot.
With that said, you don’t need to talk multiple times before you ask a girl to hang out one-on-one. In fact, it shows great self-confidence to do it during your first conversation, so this is the best time to do it.
Ask Her Out in Person, Not By Text
The main reason to ask a girl out in person is because it’s easier to create that fun playful state within her. If you’re not physically with her, you have little ability to control her emotions, especially if you send a text message. If you’re not able to ask her out in person, the next best option is to do it with a phone call.
The other main reason to ask a girl out in person is that shows off your bravery and charisma. Plus, you can respond immediately to her body language and turn things around if she shows hesitance. In an era where most young men rely on dating apps, this courage can make you stand out from the crowd.
By the way, this is why guys with good personalities will always get better results in their dating lives by meeting women in real life, instead of dating apps.
My book The Thrill Of The Chase explains all you need to know about how to be excited about being single, meeting women in the real world and living a crazy adventurous dating life. Plus, it’s packed full of effective and actionable tips for how to lead your life that way.
If You Don’t Have Her Phone Number…
If you don’t have a woman’s phone number or social media details and you want this information, here’s the most effective way to get it; ask her to hang out somewhere first.
If she agrees to hang out with you, of course she’s going to give you her contact details, because how else are you going to arrange to meet up?
This advice applies whether you met in real life or on a dating app.
When you do it this way around, the main advantage (other than a higher success rate) is that you can skip all the nonsense of charming her over text. Your first text can literally be arranging/confirming the best time to hang out when you invite her somewhere first.
Where Should I Ask a Girl to Hang Out?
The most important thing is that you pick somewhere.
Women love when a man takes charge and comes up with a plan. They find it a huge turn-off when he’s not assertive and asks her where she wants to go.
You can take the time to get to know her and think of somewhere she’d really like, but it’s a better strategy to keep it simple on a first date. Invite her somewhere casual that’s easy for her to say YES to. If she likes you, she’ll want to hang out no matter where you suggest. If you pick somewhere that’s difficult to get to or prepare for, this increases the odds of her changing her mind about the date, once the emotional high of meeting you has worn off.
How Should I Ask a Girl to Hang Out?
Again, it’s key to be assertive and to assume she’s going to say yes.
With that in mind, say something simple like: “I know this really cool place. It’s called XYZ bar. We should go.”
That’s miles better: “I was wondering if you’d like to go to XYZ bar with me this weekend?”
The less words you use, the less of a big deal you make it, the more confident you’ll come across.
Once she’s agreed to the idea, you can go about choosing the best time and date to meet. The sooner you arrange the date, the more she’s going to remember this emotional high of meeting you, the less likely that she’s going to flake and change her mind.
Should I Call it “a Date”?
The problem with calling it ‘a date’ is that this can make it seem like more of a big deal, which can make a woman feel nervous and less excited about hanging out with you.
If you’re good at flirting, you can call it “hanging out” and she’ll know exactly what your intentions really are, while still feeling more comfortable about this casual suggestion.
However, if you’re not a good flirt or you’ve known this woman for a long time, perhaps you do want to call it “a date” just so your intentions are absolutely clear. There’s little worse than a woman turning up on a date only to tell you that she sees you as a friend.
The more women I interacted with on my journey to becoming a dating expert, the more I realized that your vibe is far more important than what you say.
While you’ll increase your success rate by following these tips about when, where and how to ask her out, the most crucial thing is the energy you put behind it.
Relax, have fun, assume attraction and you’ll land more dates than ever before.
Im Joe, and I travel the world working as a dating expert, confidence coach, and writer. I have written articles for the web’s most popular dating advice blogs and published two well-received books on dating and relationships. The Thrill Of The Chase is one of the books i’ve written.