If you’ve never been on a date before, there are probably two questions you want answered; how do you get a date and what should you do on that date?
If you’ve never been on a date before there’s no need to worry. Landing a date is simply a matter of getting to know someone, flirting, and being brave enough to ask them out. The most important thing is that you have fun and get to know each other.
Below, you’ll find a range of important tips to ask someone out on a date, plus how to ensure you both have a great time.
How to Ask Your Crush Out on a Date
A lot of guys over-complicate the process of asking their crush out on a date. They think they have to spend lots of time showing this woman that they’re a good catch in order to attract her. During this period, they’ll usually look for ‘signs’ that a woman is interested before they ask her out. This is all completely unnecessary.
If you’re a man who has a crush on someone, your best bet is to ask them out the next time you see them.
By all means, take some time to talk and flirt with them before you ask them, but there’s nothing wrong with asking someone on a date even after meeting them for the first time. Most women will be impressed by your assertiveness if you do this. The longer you wait, the more time you give someone else to swoop in and ask them out.
It’s a great idea to not make it seem like a big deal. You don’t even have to ask them to come or call it a date.
Perhaps, instead, you tell them: “Hey, we should go to XYZ bar this Saturday”.
Provided you’ve been a little bit flirtatious prior to saying this, they should understand what your intentions are.
If you make it seem like a big deal, you’re going to make your crush feel nervous and think twice about accepting your invite.
If you’re a woman who has a crush on someone, all the above advice still applies. It is an absolute myth that men don’t like to be asked on dates. Most men would love to be invited on a date by a woman. There is no downside to doing this. If he says ‘no’, you’re in the same position you were in before, except you now know that he’s not interested and that you should find someone else.
Should I Ask My Crush Out By Text?
It’s better to ask your crush out face-to-face. If you ask someone out by text when you regularly see them in real life, it can come across as cowardly.
However, if you’ve never met this person in real life or are unlikely to see them soon, it’s acceptable to ask them out via text.
What If I Don’t Have A Crush?
You need to get out more! Go to more events and be more social! Do this and you’re likely to find someone you like eventually.
Failing that, create yourself a profile on some online dating apps. Online dating is becoming an increasingly popular way to meet a partner, particularly for people who are too busy to be out socialising all the time.
This book, ‘The Message Game’ by Ice White, features everything you need to know to text your online dating matches and make them excited to meet you.
What To Do On A First Date
Romantic books, movies and TV shows might suggest you need to make a huge effort to woo your beau on a first date, but that’s not actually true at all.
If you plan a first date at a fancy restaurant or make too much of an effort to make it romantic, it’s going to put too much pressure on the other person. When you do this, they’re most likely going to cancel or ghost you.
You want to make your first date as low-pressure as possible. It should be easy for them to go to and easy for them to leave!
When you invite someone to a three-course dinner, it often makes them nervous about what will happen if you don’t get along. They’ll be stuck having to make conversation with someone they don’t like for three full courses. Most women in particular will not be willing to risk it, unless they’re trying to finesse you for a free meal.
That’s why it’s better to stick to drinks at a bar or cafe on a first date. This allows you to get to know each other (the most important thing), and it’s easy for either of you to bail quickly if you’re not feeling it.
How about you choose a fun and unique bar that’s somewhat close to your place?
Should I Tell Them I’ve Never Been On A Date?
If you’re nervous about your date, telling the other person is a good way to make these nerves disappear.
Most likely, if they’re a good person, they’ll smile and tell you there’s nothing to be nervous about.
They’ll probably ask why you’ve never been on a date before, but as long as you’re not ashamed of your answer, it’s unlikely to be a deal-breaker for them.
If you’re not particularly nervous about the date, there’s no special reason to tell them it’s the first date you’ve ever been on.
How To Arrange A Second Date
If the first date went well, there’s every chance that the other person will text you within a couple of days.
If they don’t, that doesn’t mean it’s over. You can text them to get a feel of whether they want to see you again.
A nice strategy is to message to remind them of something funny that happened on the first date. This is called ‘callback humor’.
If they respond well, you can lead straight into organising a second date. There’s no need for pointless chit-chat in between dates.
You probably found out a lot about their hobbies and interests on the first date. So, use this information to suggest something they’ll really enjoy. If your schedules line up, there’s nothing wrong with suggesting you see each other again within a few days. Once again, if you wait too long between dates, there’s every chance that someone else swoops in and wins their heart.
For more tips, see this article on how to not be nervous for a second date.
Once you’ve done it, going on a date isn’t as much of a big deal as you think.
In fact, the less of a big deal you make it, the more likely it’s going to go well.
Focus on enjoying yourself and getting to know each other, rather than trying to make your date like you, and there’s every chance they’ll want to see you again.
Im Joe, and I travel the world working as a dating expert, confidence coach, and writer. I have written articles for the web’s most popular dating advice blogs and published two well-received books on dating and relationships. The Thrill Of The Chase is one of the books i’ve written.