Men tend to have mixed opinions about whether it’s a good idea to date a single mom. In this article, we’re going to explore the pros and cons of doing so.
A lot of guys complain that single moms always put their kids first. Men also don’t like having to spend time with or pay for another man’s child. On the plus side, single moms tend to be strong-willed and resourceful.
Read on for a full list of the advantages and downsides of dating a single mom.
7 Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Moms
There have been plenty of articles published on the dangers of dating single moms.
Here is a list of the most commonly cited reasons not to date a single mom given by the writers and interviewees in these articles.
1. Single Moms Always Put Their Kids First
A mother should put the needs of her children above the desires of her new boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean the boyfriend should be happy about it.
If you want to whisk a single mom away on a spontaneous trip – or even out for a romantic meal – it will depend on whether she can get a babysitter.
If her kids have a doctor’s appointment, a soccer match or a common cold, these could all take priority over your date nights.
In some cases, if the children decide they don’t like you, that could be a relationship deal-breaker for her.
A lot of men want to be treated as number one priority by their partner. With a single mom, that’ll rarely be the case.
2. Her Kids Might Annoy The Hell Out Of You
Let’s face it; all children have the capability to be little horrors from time to time.
When they’re your kids, you find a way to cope with this, not only because you have no choice, but also because you love them with all your heart.
But these aren’t your kids!
These are another man’s kids ruining what could otherwise have otherwise been a great time with your beau.
Can you name even one occasion when another man’s kids made your day notably better?
Also, bear in mind that you might be given zero authority to discipline these children. A lot of single moms will not allow their boyfriends to do this, and most kids won’t listen if they do.
3. You Might Grow Attached To Her Kids
It is possible that you grow attached to this woman’s kid. But then what happens if you break up? You’re left with zero rights to ever see them again in any capacity. This can be heart-breaking.
So, whether you love or hate the kids, there’s risks to be taken.
4. You’ll Spend Your Hard-Earned Money On Another Man’s Kids
Sure, there are some single moms who won’t specifically ask for hand-outs. However, once the relationship becomes somewhat serious and you start hanging out as a family, it’s inevitable that some of your money will end up being spent on this guy’s children. This can sting twice as hard if the father isn’t paying his fair share.
Once you’re a serious couple, you start sharing finances and most of her finances are being used to bring up these kids.
5. Single Moms Are Often Tired And Stressed
Mothers of young children are exhausted most of the time.
But, even when these kids are teenagers, there’s something going on in their lives that is likely to be stressing out the parents.
As the guy dating a single mom, all you can do is hope she doesn’t take that fatigue and stress out on you.
6. Single Moms Are Often Emotionally Damaged
When a woman has a child with a man only for the family to fall apart, that’s a traumatic experience, which can leave her resentful and distrustful of men.
7. That Coochie Intimacy Just Doesn’t Feel The Same
As crude and disrepsectful as it sounds, the lack of tightness during physical intimacy sensations of intimacy tightness of a single mom’s vagina (or lack of it) is regularly mentioned in these articles about not dating single moms. them.
7 Reasons To Date A Single Mom
There have also been a range of articles written about the advantages of dating a single mom. Here are the most common listed plus points of dating a woman with a child.
1. Single Moms Are Strong-Willed
If she can get through childbirth, the break-up of her family, raising her children solo and the modern dating scene, she can get through damn well anything! Don’t expect her to be fazed or overwhelmed by any problems that pop up throughout the course of the relationship.
2. Single Moms Keep You Young At Heart
When you’re hanging out with small children all the time, it becomes easier to let your playful and imaginative side loose. This can make someone so much more fun to hang out with. Adults who only spend time with other adults tend to lose that.
If you are spending time with the kids, that gives you the perfect excuse to play games, have fun and be silly. Deep down, that’s what makes life worth living.
3. Single Moms Are More Grateful
If there’s one bad thing about those 21-year-old single childless bombshells, it’s that they tend to take average guys with a good heart for granted.
A single mom tends to have less options for men to date, because they’re typically older and there are so many guys out there who will flat-out refuse to date a woman with kids.
This lack of options can make single moms more level-headed. Buy them flowers or chocolates and you can expect them to appreciate the affection you give them far more.
She’ll also be more appreciative of any time she gets to relax and have fun on a date, because her free time is likely to be a lot more scarce.
4. Single Moms Can Love Like No-One Else
Once you become a parent, you discover how to love and show affection at a new level of intensity. The incredible beauty of life on this planet becomes more apparent.
If you’re willing to contribute and become a part of her family, she will begin to show this supreme level of warmth and affection to you.
5. A Single Mom Knows What She Wants
A single mom is (hopefully) somewhat experienced with long-term relationships. This should mean she knows what type of men she wants and that she’s learned from her mistakes of the past.
6. Single Moms Are Looking For Serious Relationships
If you’re looking for a serious relationship, you can feel safe knowing a single mom is almost definitely looking for the same thing. Becoming a parent tends to do a great deal for your maturity and your desire to plan for the future.
Once a woman has children to look after, she can’t afford to only be looking for a bit of fun. Most probably she doesn’t want to bring ‘casual relationships’ around her children at all.
7. You Can Make An Impact On Her Children’s Lives
Date a single mom and you can have an opportunity to be a positive father figure to her children and make a significant impact on their lives.
Sure, they’re not your biological children, but it can still fill you with pride to help lead children towards a better life as adults.
It’s often said it takes a ‘real man’ to raise another person’s children. While that term is somewhat ambiguous, it could easily mean a man with boundless virtue, wisdom and selflessness.
Of course, you’ll hopefully be making a great impact on this strong and independent woman’s life too!
Final Thoughts
This was a fair and balanced article highlighting the pros and cons of dating a single mom. Of course, these are sweeping generalisations and every woman is different, but you should now know a bit more about what to expect.
Perhaps after reading these two lists, it has become incredibly obvious whether you want to date a single mom or not. If you’re still not sure, I’d recommend you give it a try and see whether this is something you can do.
Yes, there will be downsides, but sometimes the upsides are so glorious that you’ll find a way to make it work. That’s what true love is all about.
Im Joe, and I travel the world working as a dating expert, confidence coach, and writer. I have written articles for the web’s most popular dating advice blogs and published two well-received books on dating and relationships. The Thrill Of The Chase is one of the books i’ve written.