How to Get a Girlfriend if You Are Ugly

If you are ugly but want a girlfriend the answer is to use your personality. By developing and showcasing other attractive traits such as confidence, humor, bravery, and leadership you can attract beautiful women which will increase your chances of getting a girlfriend.

The problem is: a lot of ugly guys don’t believe this. They think being good-looking is the most important step to winning a woman’s heart. This leads them to behave in ways that are incredibly unattractive.

For that reason, this article begins by explaining why being good-looking isn’t so important for attracting a girlfriend. It also reveals the traits that women find most attractive – and how you can go about developing them.

Do Looks Matter To Women?

Yes, of course!

You’ve probably seen women fawn over handsome men, whether it’s a celebrity on television or the handsome guy at the bar.

However, it’s not the most important thing.

To understand this, you need to understand how attraction works.

Attraction is not a choice. It’s mostly based on the biological desire to find a partner that can provide healthy thriving children.

That’s why you’re attracted to women with a youthful face, big boobs and wide hips. And it’s why your crush is drawn to tall, strong and handsome men.

However – to raise a healthy and thriving family – a woman also needs a man who can look after her and the children. Yes, being big and strong helps here too, but your personality matters even more. Are you assertive, brave, ambitious, loyal, grounded, successful etc? Being a pretty-boy doesn’t really help here at all…

The kicker in this whole situation is: women are far more emotional than men. They experience attraction emotionally, rather than logically. So, by learning to tickle her emotions in the right way, you can win her heart even if you’re logically a bad choice for her. It’s not too dissimilar to choosing a Pepperoni pizza over a healthy gourmet chicken salad.

This is why you see women falling for weird pick-up artists, sweaty amateur rockstars or scumbag drug dealers. These archetypes are usually very good at spiking a woman’s emotions.

So, before we dive into the traits that women find attractive, let’s recap.

For women, attraction is mostly:

  • biological;
  • emotional.

Now that has been made clear, let’s take a closer look at how an ugly man can push these buttons within a woman.

What Do Women Want In A Man?

Below is a comprehensive list of the traits that women love, when considering whether a man is boyfriend material.


Good looks is not only an indicator of being able to produce thriving offspring. It also shows you value yourself and are able to take care of yourself. At the bottom of this article, there is a shortlist of things you can do to become better-looking.


The most effective way to make a woman feel great emotions is being able to make her laugh. If she’s laughing a lot, you can more or less guarantee that she’s going to be having a good time whenever she’s around you.

Being funny is a skill you can learn. You can go to comedy classes, watch stand-up comedy and study the style of your favorite comedians.

Best of all though, you can learn to stop taking life so seriously. Stop being afraid to show your silly side. This alone will make a woman laugh far more in your presence.


When a man shows bravery, this indicates that he’ll be able to look after his partner and children in times of crisis. It’s a crucial trait to be able to display. Few women are attracted to timid and fearful men.

Bravery isn’t just about winning fights or rescuing babies from burning buildings. You need to be brave enough to stand up to your woman when she starts acting up.

Most women will misbehave a little during the initial phases of dating to see if you are man enough to put them in their place. If you let them walk all over you, they will lose attraction quickly.


Confidence is a similar quality to bravery, in that it makes a woman feel like she’ll be safe around you whatever happens. This helps her feel biologically attracted to you.

It also helps her feel emotionally attracted, because emotions are contagious. So, if you’re feeling positive and awesome about yourself, a woman is more likely to feel great about you too. But, if you’re shy and anxious around her, she’s going to feel that way and not want to be around you for much longer.


This essentially means to be in control of your emotions. It’s not in a woman’s best interests to date a man who has an emotional breakdown every week or so. That’s her job as the feminine half of this couple. It’s your job as the man to be the ‘rock’ she relies on when her emotions spill over.

David Deida explained it fantastically in his book ‘The Way Of The Superior Man’.

He said: “The most erotic moment for a woman is feeling that you are Shiva, the divine masculine: unperturbable, totally loving, fully present, and all-pervading.”


Wealth is an indicator of power, success and status. It is also the means to be able to provide her with an enjoyable lifestyle as your partner.


Leadership is another masculine quality that’s going to be incredibly attractive to feminine women.

When you have the intuition to message her first, ask her out on a date, arrange that date, hold her hand and lead to the next location, that’s going to show you’re the type of guy who can look after her.

If you’re actually a leader – of a business or a sports team, perhaps – most women will find that immediately attractive too.

Social Affluence

If you’re a popular guy with lots of high-status friends, this will do so much to help you share a fun life with a potential girlfriend. You’re going to be around more cool people, be invited to more awesome social events and have a more enjoyable time with whatever woman you decide to take out.

If you currently don’t have a fun social circle, nor the social skills to meet new people and have them want to be your friends, this is something you need to work on as a matter of urgency.

Women pay a lot of attention to who their dating prospects hang out with. If you have a lot of cool friends, that’s an honest signal that you’re a fun and desirable person. If a lot of these friends are women, even better. This idea is often called ‘social proof’.

If you don’t have any friends, this could be a signal that you’re weird, creepy or even dangerous. A lot of women aren’t brave enough to find this out for themselves. Most likely, they’ll ditch you for someone else instead.

So, in 2021 and beyond, your best bet is to pack your online dating and social media profiles with plenty of pictures with your friends. This way, a woman can see your ‘social proof’ as soon as you swap details with her.


This is a curveball because Hollywood teaches men it’s romantic to show women how much you need them.

In reality, needy behavior tends to highlight that you don’t have a lot of social proof, nor a lot of cool things going on in your life. That’s why you’re so desperate to be her boyfriend, in her eyes anyway.

When you supplicate, send her gifts, text her too often, compliment her too frequently, ask her to be your girlfriend too quickly, she doesn’t see this as sweet or romantic. In many cases, she thinks it’s pathetic. Notice how ‘Simps’ have become the laughing stock of the internet in the last couple of years. You’re better off playing it cool, giving her space to chase you and waiting for her to ask you to be exclusive.

The best way to naturally build non-neediness is to have a life you enjoy, regardless of whether you have a girlfriend or not. So, if you haven’t already, work on filling your life with awesome hobbies, amazing friends and a purpose that makes you excited to wake up in the morning.

How To Make Yourself Better-Looking

It’s amazing how so many men that complain about being ugly do nothing to improve their looks. After all, there is plenty you can do to make yourself more physically attractive.

Exercise and Lift Weights

We’ve explored why women are attracted to big and strong men. Indeed, the best thing you can to improve your appearance is to get a lean and muscular body.

When you do this:

  • your clothes will look better on you;
  • you’ll gain a thinner, more attractive face;
  • you’ll have more energy and vitality when talking to women;
  • you’ll have more stamina in the bedroom;
  • you prove to the world that you have discipline and can overcome tough challenges.

The list goes on and on, so get it done.

Improve Your Fashion

A good fashion sense shows that you value yourself. You’ll look easier on the eye just by wearing clothes that fit you well.

If you wear expensive clothes, that immediately communicates success, although subtlety goes a long way too. Don’t be that obnoxious try-hard who stunts their high-end brands too blatantly.

Improve Your Grooming

Find a fashionable haircut that suits your face. Experiment to see if facial hair looks better on you. If you have an unkempt beard, start taking care of it. Take care of your teeth. Take better care of your skin. Wash every day!

Improve Your Nutrition

As well as helping you to lose weight and/or gain muscle, a healthy diet can revolutionize your skin. It can also help to give you that daily energy and vitality that draws people towards you.


Being a happy positive guy not only makes you more fun to be around, you’ll look better too!

Final Thoughts

Yes, there are some guys who are genetically gifted that attract women more easily.

As an uglier guy, you can sit and complain about not winning the genetic lottery. Or you can focus on the huge kaleidoscope of traits you can improve to become more attractive to women.The first choice is easier. The second choice will leave you far happier and more fulfilled in your dating life.