This is your ultimate guide to getting a girlfriend when you’re an introvert. Keep reading and we will tell you everything you need to know.
The key to getting a girlfriend as an introvert is to put yourself out there, and there are plenty of introvert-friendly ways to do that. Online dating, speed dating, or events based on specific hobbies are some dating options to consider to find a girlfriend.
A good dating app is crucial for having success with dating nowadays. Eharmony arguably remains the number 1 dating website for personality-based matching which makes it perfect for introverts.
Read on for a full list of places to meet women when you’re introverted, as well as a step-by-step guide to making them your girlfriend.
Where to Meet Women When You’re Introverted
If you’re an introvert that probably means you hate the idea of mingling in bars, nightclubs, parties, or any kind of social events.
Most likely, you prefer to connect deeply with women on a one-on-one basis.
Here is a list of places to meet women where it’s easy to do that.
Online dating doesn’t work for every guy. In fact, data shows that the top 80% of attractive women are competing for the top 20% of attractive guys.
However, if you’re fortunate enough to be in that upper echelon of handsome men, it might be worth spending time on apps like Tinder, Bumble or Hinge.
If you do, make sure you invest in high-quality photos. Pay for a session with a professional photographer who knows how to take shots for online dating profiles. This will dramatically increase your matches.
The competition is fierce on online dating, so if you do catch a girl’s interest, it’s usually best to meet up reasonably quickly.
As much as you probably like to have deep meaningful conversations, save them for the date itself.
The longer you stay as texting buddies, the more likely that some other dude swoops in and makes her forget all about you.
In many ways, speed dating is a pleasant mix of online dating and meeting women in real life.
The speed dating company is responsible for selling tickets for its events to an equal number of men and women. Most people bring a friend for ‘moral support’.
At the event, the company will organize that each man speaks to each woman for 3-4 minutes. There’s no need to pluck up the courage to approach anyone, nor do you need to worry about an embarrassing public rejection.
After each ‘date’, you’ll anonymously write each other’s names on a checklist, and tick either ‘Yes’ or ‘No’. This tells the speed dating company whether you’d like to stay in contact with that person.
If you both ticked ‘Yes’, the speed dating company will pass on each other’s contact details.
Here’s a tip: once the event is finished, re-approach the woman you liked most and ask if she wants to go for a drink at the bar.
Yes, you’re introverted, but this is a power move that will make you stand out from all the other guys she met.
Recommendations From Friends
This remains one of the most common ways that men and women meet their spouses.
So, don’t be afraid to ask your friends if they have a friend they think would like you. Most women especially would love to play the role of matchmaker. If she knows you well, she’ll be able to match you with someone suitable.
Better yet, because the friend has put in a good word for you, the woman she recommends is likely to be more open to date.
Events Based On Specific Hobbies
Yes, it says ‘events’, but calm down and keep reading.
If you live in a big city, there’s likely to be a lot of social events based on specific hobbies being arranged.
The best way to find out about these is on websites like Meetup, Eventbrite, or Facebook Events. Navigate to these websites, type your hobbies into the search bar and you’ll hopefully be shown a list of events near you based on these.
The great thing about this type of event is that all attendees are typically looking to meet new people. Better yet, it’ll be easy to start a conversation because you know they have the same hobby as you.
Work or School
A lot of extroverted guys have to be warned against hitting on too many women at work or school, because (if it goes wrong) they might gain a reputation that hurts them.
As an introverted guy, you probably don’t have to worry too much about that.
Indeed, the workplace or place of study are also some of the most common venues where people meet their spouses.
This is because men and women are forced to spend an incredible amount of time together. As such, they typically get to know each other on a deeper level before romance blossoms.
It’s a good idea to play the ‘long game’ with women at work or in school because if you make a move and it goes badly, you might still have to see that person every day.
Still, if you start flirting and she flirts back, pull the trigger and ask if she wants to meet somewhere outside of work or school. You don’t have to explicitly label it as a date. That way you have plausible deniability if she says no.
If she says yes, you can ramp up the flirting outside of the professional atmosphere
Whatever you do, don’t be the guy who waits too long to ask out their crush even though he sees her every day. That guy typically gets his heartbroken when some other dude swoops in before him.
How to Get a Girlfriend When You’re Introverted
The first step is to choose a method of meeting women from the list above. Perhaps you’ll choose all of them. Either way, volume is key.
If you’re only meeting a small handful of women per week, the chances of you finding a great girlfriend are very low.
Once you’re out meeting women and you find one you like, the best step is to invite her to a one-on-one situation. This is where introverts shine! Now, you don’t have to worry about mingling with her friends or other random people. Instead, you can focus on getting to know each other on a deeper level.
Perhaps this is a formal ‘date’ organized by text. Maybe you invite her for a drink somewhere more private as soon as you meet her.
Either way, presuming this first meeting goes well and you swap contact details, you can stay in contact and arrange a second date. And a third. And a fourth.
These dates don’t have to be at busy bars or loud concerts. Don’t feel pressured to hang out with her friends or family either. Most probably, you’ll fare better in quiet venues where you can focus on the conversation.
Bear in mind that it’s the 21st century, and there’s nothing wrong with casually dating more than one woman at the same time. If you’re a cool guy who’s putting himself out there more, it shouldn’t be too difficult to achieve this. Casually dating multiple women will stop you from becoming too needy for one specific woman, and it’ll usually make all of them chase you more.
If your dates with one particular woman are going well, she’ll usually be the one to hint at becoming monogamous with you. This is a woman’s nature. As the man, it’s best to wait for these hints, rather than to agonize over when you should ask her to be your girlfriend.
Once she does start to make these hints, it’s up to you whether to discuss becoming boyfriend and girlfriend.
If that’s something you want, congratulations! You’re now in a relationship.
Do Women Like Introverted Men?
It’s a myth that all introverted men struggle to attract women. That’s not true at all.
There are plenty of introverts out there who are funny, charismatic, successful, and have a ton of other attractive qualities.
Unlike men who are shy or anxious or have low self-esteem, introverts can show their attractive qualities once they’re in a one-on-one conversation with a woman.
The biggest struggle that introverted men face is finding the courage to meet enough women in the first place.
Hopefully, this guide will help you to overcome this hurdle.
If you’re an introvert who has a lot of attractive qualities, you should have no trouble finding a girlfriend.
Even if you hate going to the club, there are other ways to meet women perfectly suited to you.
Follow the steps in this guide and there’s every chance you’ll have plenty of women who want a relationship with you in the near future.
Im Joe, and I travel the world working as a dating expert, confidence coach, and writer. I have written articles for the web’s most popular dating advice blogs and published two well-received books on dating and relationships. The Thrill Of The Chase is one of the books i’ve written.