You’re about to learn how to make a girl like you through messaging.
The key to getting a girl to like you over text is to send messages that are fun and different. Make playful assumptions about her. Avoid cliches and boring questions. Make use of photos and video messages. Show her what you’re up to. And, most importantly, don’t simp.
Read on for an in-depth guide, explaining how to send messages that make women excited to respond and to ultimately meet you for a date.
The Simp Trap
A lot of guys fall into The Simp Trap. This will be clear to see if you browse the comments on any beautiful woman’s social media profiles, or (better yet) ask to see her DMs.
The Simp Trap is populated by guys who believe that girls will like them if they send lots of lovely messages, saying how amazing and beautiful they are.
This is partly true. Girls do like to receive these messages.
But, they don’t respect guys who pedestalize them like this, because they are made to feel as if they are above them.
A woman doesn’t want to date a guy who is below her. That’s why she’ll never want to date one of her simps.
If you actually want to date this girl, don’t send compliments about her appearance.
She wants to work for your approval, because that signals you’re a high-value guy who isn’t easily impressed by a pretty face.
Make one thirsty comment on her Instagram and you’ll be categorized among all the other simps that she ignores and doesn’t respect.
Be Fun, Be Different
To make a girl like you over text, you really need to stand out from the crowd. Luckily, it’s not that difficult.
Whether it’s through messaging apps, social media or online dating, most guys are sending her the same boring messages.
“Hey.”
“How’s it going?”
“What are you doing this weekend?”
“Wow, you’re so beautiful.”
“I like your photos.”
Unless you happen to be a super-rich, super-handsome celebrity model, she’s not going to be excited to respond to these messages.
A better strategy would be to connect over one of her existing hobbies and interests, which you could usually discover from browsing her profiles. But, there’s probably a few smart guys who are already asking the same handful of questions about that too.
So, the best way to stand out is to bring her into your world. Send her a photo of something awesome that’s going on in your life. Make some jokes. Show her something interesting and unique.
That’s all it really takes to stand out and be different.
Make Use of Voice Notes, Photos and Videos
We live in an amazing modern world, where it’s super easy to send voice notes, photos and videos. We can edit them within seconds and zap to the other side of the world with ease. You should absolutely be doing this when communicating with girls.
They say a picture is worth 1,000 words. That’s because it creates a deeper connection to whatever is being described.
When you send a girl photos and videos, she gets such a deeper idea of who you are and what you’re about.
She becomes more comfortable with you, because she sees you. This comfort will make her happier to respond to your messages, and ultimately to meet you for a date in real life.
Apps like Snapchat and Instagram make it so easy to add filters and effects to your posts. By all means, do this to add humor or to tell your story better.
The key lesson still applies here: Be fun, be different.
If you’re sending her tons of engaging photos and videos, she’ll eventually become impatient to hear from you again.
Make It Easy To Reply
Here’s a sad truth about millennials and Gen Z – and beautiful young women in particular; their attention spans are horrifically short.
That’s true when they’re playing on their smartphones anyway. Apps like Snapchat and Instagram are designed to hit them with dopamine spikes every couple of seconds. This makes it difficult to focus on anything that’s non-stimulating for anything more than a few moments.
If she barely knows you, sees your message and has to think too hard to reply, she’ll prefer to ignore it.
Hot young girls get so many messages from guys. They only reply to those that are fun and easy to respond to.
That’s why messages like these are horrible.
- “How is your weekend going?”
- “Tell me about yourself.”
- “What do you like to do for fun?”
If you want this girl to open up, it’s better to provoke her with fun and playful assumptions. So, instead of the terrible messages listed above, you could send:
- “Let me guess, you’ll spend this weekend doing …”
- “I bet you’re the type of girl who likes to …”
- “I am guessing you really enjoy …”
…then make your guess.
It doesn’t matter if you’re wrong and right. In fact, you can make an absurd guess if you’re able to justify it. A message like this captures her imagination and is easy to reply to. People love to know what impressions they make on strangers; it’s valuable information.
In most cases, she’ll reply saying: ‘Hahaha, yes, how did you know?’ or ‘Hahaha, no, what made you think that?’
Suddenly, she’s invested enough to be asking you questions…
Don’t Overdo It
If you’re texting a girl too often, it usually creates the impression that you want her too much. Again, this makes her feel as if she’s above you and will kill your chances of meeting up in the future.
Some dating articles will advise you to play silly mind games by waiting a specific amount of hours to text her, so you look busy. That’s surely unnecessary. It’s enough to be mindful that texting her too much can be a turn-off.
A good rule to follow is not to text her twice on the same day if your previous message was ignored. That’s a clear sign that you’re too invested in the conversation.
What to Do if She Doesn’t Reply to You
If a girl doesn’t reply to your message, it’s good to let the conversation sit for a couple of days. Perhaps she was just busy or forgot to reply. Maybe she’ll reach out in this time period.
If she doesn’t respond, the best way to reignite the conversation is to send a message that doesn’t ask for a reply. Perhaps it’s a cool story or a fun picture of something you’re doing. Maybe it’s a meme that reminded you of her.
If you ask her a question and she doesn’t reply, that looks really bad. Now, it’s undeniable to both parties that she’s ignoring you. When you make fun assumptions or send cool photos without asking a question, it doesn’t look so desperate when you reach out a second time.
Don’t Forget Your Ultimate Goal
If your ultimate goal is to meet this girl in real life, you should always be leading towards this with your messages.
Most guys wait too long to pull the trigger and ask a girl out on a date.
If you remain as nothing more than her ‘texting buddy’ for too long, she will eventually tire of you.
After all, some other guy will pull the trigger and develop a deeper face-to-face bond with this girl. Then, all those fun messages you sent would ultimately be for nothing.
Once it’s clear that a woman is interested in you, begin making plans to meet in real life. Sometimes, you’ll shoot your shot too early and she won’t feel comfortable for that next step yet. That’s fine. Keep getting to know each other better, then ask again in the future.
If it becomes clear that she only wants to be your texting buddy, the best thing to do is to stop messaging her altogether. Don’t give your attention away for free.
The Truth About Texting Girls That Most Dating Coaches Won’t Tell You
If a girl is already attracted to you, it’s possible to ignore all the rules above and still have her eager to reply to you.
Maybe that’s why so many good-looking guys are sending messages like ‘hi’ or ‘how are you?’. It works for them!
The best thing you can do to make a girl like you through messaging is to have great photos on your social media or online dating profile. If you haven’t already, hire a professional photographer to take some snaps with you looking your best. That’ll help to increase your response rate more than anything else.
But, that doesn’t mean these texting tips are garbage. Good-looking guys will miss out on the best girls if they don’t follow these tips. Average-looking guys will probably miss out on all the girls.
Final Thoughts
The dating market has become globalized. Thanks to social media and online dating, the hottest girls have hundreds of guys trying to text them at any one moment.
It’s harder than ever to gain and maintain the attention of any girl via text.
So, it’s more important than ever for your messaging to be on point. These texting tips will stop you from getting ghosted so often and allow you to convert more conversations into dates.
Im Joe, and I travel the world working as a dating expert, confidence coach, and writer. I have written articles for the web’s most popular dating advice blogs and published two well-received books on dating and relationships. The Thrill Of The Chase is one of the books i’ve written.