Do you feel as if you have no idea how to find a serious relationship that will lead to marriage? Do you continuously choose the wrong people to try and date? Do you struggle to attract anyone at all?
The key to finding your soulmate is to seek more clarity as far as what’s important to you in a relationship. From there, you need to put yourself out there in the places where these types of people frequent and become the type of person they want to be with.
We’ll explore how you can take each of these steps in the guide below.
What’s Important to You in a Relationship?
You need to be sure what’s really important to you in a relationship, so you can start pursuing the right partners and stop throwing potentially great matches away.
A lot of teenagers and young adults are very bad at this. Here are some questions that might help you identify if you’re one of them.
Is it essential that your boyfriend is taller than you? Is it essential that your girlfriend has huge boobs? Will these physical attributes make or break your happiness in a relationship?
For some people, the answer will honestly be yes because physical attraction is important for them and perhaps they feel unable to experience this when their partner is a certain height or shape.
However, you must acknowledge that these facts have nothing to do with how well you’ll get on in a relationship.
A lot of men and women are unnecessarily discarding people who might have been perfect partners for superficial reasons. Worse yet, some people are staying with partners that don’t suit them for superficial reasons.
Here’s a quick exercise to help you make sure you’re not one of them;
- Step 1. Take the time to make a list of five qualities that your perfect spouse should have.
- Step 2. Vow to only continue dating people who have most or all of these qualities.
Yes, you can change your list as you get more experience with dating, but this exercise should help you avoid choosing an unsuitable partner just because they give you the tingles. Get in the habit of asking subtle questions on the first date that reveal whether this person has what you’re looking for or not.
We all revel in the lust that takes over during the first few months of knowing each other, but this fades. The personality traits that actually make someone an attractive person usually last forever. So, do your best to favor logic over emotions when dating.
We Need to Talk About Online Dating…
Online dating is an incredibly popular medium for singles to try and meet a partner, but it’s really tough for online daters to reveal the qualities that would make them a perfect partner, especially before you’ve started chatting to them.
For most mainstream dating apps, you can only use a handful of photos and some written words to convince someone to give you a shot.
Inevitably then, most people make their online dating decisions based on factors that have no say on whether they’ll find a satisfying long-term relationship. How tall is this person? Do they have huge boobs or six-pack abs? Are they wearing the same shirt in several pictures?
This is why so many people keep choosing the wrong person to meet from a dating app and end up searching online for articles about how to find a serious relationship…
If you are going to use online dating, I’d recommend you sign up to a website called EHarmony.
For starters, this website is marketed exclusively to people who are looking for serious relationships, which is more than can be said for mainstream swipe-based apps like Tinder, Bumble or OKCupid.
What’s more, EHarmony recommends matches exclusively based on how compatible your personalities are. Each member is made to take a 40-45 minute personality quiz before completing their registration, then the algorithm will slowly feed them matches based on their compatibility score with nearby users.
Finally, since EHarmony is only available to those who pay its somewhat pricey monthly subscription, you’ll find it’s only populated by members who are serious about their search for love. The end result is: you get a lot of quality replies from the members who you’re most likely to get on with in a relationship.
EHarmony is proven to be astonishingly effective at matching people up with their future spouse. In fact, the company’s own stats says paid members have a 70% chance of finding their spouse on the website within a year. Around 4% of weddings in the United States are couples who met on eHarmony – more than any other online dating website – so hopefully it makes sense why I’m recommending it to you in this guide.
Go Where Your Beau is Most Likely to Be
If you’re serious about finding your one true love quickly, you should be making efforts to meet them in the real world too.
It’s no use just relying on dating apps or waiting for fate to magically bring your soulmate into your life. That puts you at a massive disadvantage compared to the singles who are being proactive about finding their perfect person.
Since you’ve created a list of characteristics that your ideal partner should have, you should now be able to answer this question: Where are you most likely to find these types of people??
Is it on the dancefloor of some sticky-floored nightclub at 3am? Maybe. Intelligent, active, kind, thoughtful and loving people do occasionally like to let their hair down and party all night long. But do you think you’d be more likely to meet these people at the gym, a hiking club or a yoga retreat?
This is something for you to consider. If there are clubs or events based on your hobbies in your hometown, keep in mind that these are the best places to meet people with the same interests as you.
Become The Person Your Beau is Most Likely to Want
Here’s the final question to ask about the archetype of your ideal partner: What types of partner will they want?
If you want to date a man who is athletic and muscular, you’re probably going to have to be in shape yourself.
If you want to date a young, cheerful, feminine woman, you’re usually going to have to be reasonably masculine and pleasant to be around yourself.
Don’t become one of these delusional humans who mouth off about their high dating standards while bringing nothing to the table themselves.
If you haven’t even been close to finding a serious relationship in your life yet, you’re either not putting yourself out there enough or not following one of the key ideas I mentioned in this guide.
Either that, or you haven’t had enough time. Dating isn’t easy and you’ll usually have a few near misses before you hit your bullseye, even when you follow these rules.
Before you click to your next article, identify what you’ve been doing wrong and what you’re going to change. You got this.
Im Joe, and I travel the world working as a dating expert, confidence coach, and writer. I have written articles for the web’s most popular dating advice blogs and published two well-received books on dating and relationships. The Thrill Of The Chase is one of the books i’ve written.