If you hate online dating, try to discover where the most attractive singles in your city hang out, then develop your social skills so you can approach them and have them be excited to meet you.
You might feel unable to do this if you’re extremely shy or nerdy. Perhaps you’ve tried before and it didn’t work out. But, don’t worry. This guide features a step-by-step guide that anyone can successfully follow.
So, let’s dive in.
How to Meet Singles in Your Area
The best places to meet singles will differ depending on where you live, and the culture of your country. You can find out the hotspots for your city, by searching online or asking friends who have lived there for a while.
With that said, the list below features the most reliable places to meet singles in most parts of the world.
Bars and Nightclubs
Most attractive singles enjoy going to drink, dance, and party with their friends at a bar or nightclub.
If you’re new in town and have no idea where to find the venues, ask some young and attractive people where they like to party.
In most large cities, all the best bars and clubs tend to be situated in the same district, which you could easily find by searching for ‘bars’ in Google Maps.
In smaller towns, there is usually only one or two spots that most people flock to at the weekend.
Some people prefer to host their own private parties, rather than celebrate in a bar or a club. The more friends you make, the more invites to private parties you’re likely to receive.
Check out events listing websites such as MeetUp, Eventbrite or Facebook Events, and find an event you might enjoy.
You can do this by typing your hobby into the search bar. Maybe you’ll even find a club or a regular event based on this hobby.
Most people attend events like this to meet new people, plus you’ll know that they all have similar interests to you. So, it should be easy enough to find someone to date.
Bonus tip: Try searching for ‘singles party’ or ‘speed dating’ events in your area. These events are growing increasingly popular and are a fun way to meet lots of single people in one night.
Out & About
You probably see people you’re attracted to every day while you’re out and about. Shopping. Drinking coffee. Walking to work. Sunbathing on the beach. The list goes on…
The idea of approaching these people and asking them out on a date might be completely foreign to you, but it’s absolutely possible.
In fact, if you have the bravery and tact to pull this off, you’re likely to be viewed as a more attractive dating prospect.
How to Ask Someone You’ve Just Met on a Date
The best way to ask someone out on a date will differ depending on the specific scenario. However, there are various rules you’re best off following to increase the chances of this person agreeing to go on a date with you.
Here are the most important rules:
Don’t Startle Them
Approach from their line of sight, so they’re not frightened when you start talking.
Your Opening Line Doesn’t Matter as Much as You Think
Your vibe is far more important than your words. If you’re anxious and desperate for the conversation to go well, people will feel that nervous energy and not want to be around you.
If you’re having fun and don’t really care what happens, people tend to become hooked on your positive energy.
Yes, if you’re out and about, it’s often best to open the conversation by explaining you want to meet them because they’re attractive. Otherwise, they might assume you’re begging for money or trying to sell them something.
However, if you’re at parties, bars or clubs, you could open the conversation with anything and it’ll work fine, provided you have a good vibe.
If someone looks uncomfortable in your presence, don’t ignore this! Ask them if you’re making them uncomfortable – and apologize if you are. That wasn’t your intention, after all!
If they ask you to leave, respectfully do so…
Spend as Much Time With Them as You Can
It’s typically a mistake to ask someone out on a date within a couple of minutes of meeting them.
This isn’t enough time to make someone feel comfortable to agree to that. Also, it shows that you’re desperate enough to be ‘sold’ on dating someone as soon as you’ve laid eyes on them.
As a general rule, the more time you spend with someone, the more likely that they’ll say yes when you do ask them out.
So, take your time getting to know this person and telling them about you.
How to Set Up a Date
As you’re talking to this person, suggest something that you’d like to do with them in the future. If they agree that would be a good idea, this is the perfect time to swap contact details. It makes perfect sense for them to give you their details at this point, because how else are you going to arrange the date?
Now, when you text them, you can potentially go straight into organising the best time to meet for that activity, rather than all the frustrating back-and-forth you’d have to go through with online dating.
And that’s it! Provided they haven’t changed their mind, you’ll have landed yourself a date.
Your Excuses Debunked
Below are the most common excuses for not trying to find a date in ‘real life’, plus a quick explanation of why they’re complete nonsense.
“I’m too shy and awkward to try this”
Would you like to be less shy and awkward in future? If so, pushing yourself to meet new people is a great way to make this happen.
The more you practice this, the less awkward you’re going to feel. Your social skills will improve over time too.
Before long, you’ll be feeling socially free enough to quickly crack jokes, have fun and display your full unfiltered personality to new people. This is a skill that will help you in all facets of life, not just dating.
Sure, it might be tough at first. Maybe you’ll need to find a friend or a dating coach to literally ‘push’ you into interactions. It’s worth the struggle through.
The alternative is to keep relying on apps and websites that you hate to find a date. Most probably, you’re coming across as shy and awkward on these online dates anyway. So, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by learning how to effortlessly socialise and meet people.
“I don’t have any friends to go out with”
If you don’t have any friends, your best shot is to try and meet a partner at events, or as you go about your daily errands.
Remember, most events are designed for people who want to make new friends. So, you can do that as well as trying to find someone to date.
“I’m too ugly to try this”
It’s well-known that online dating success is based primarily on a user’s photos.
So, if you think you’re ugly, that’s even more of a reason to focus on using your personality to secure a date in real life.
“I don’t want to bother or harass people”
There has been somewhat of an extreme movement to reduce sexual harassment in recent years. But that shouldn’t stop you respectfully approaching someone you’re attracted to.
It’s true that no-one wants to be bothered by weird or creepy strangers. But, most men and women love the idea of meeting cool and fun people.
So, if you can brighten people’s days with fun and flirtatious banter, most will be thankful that you did.
Approach with empathy, leave if asked, and there’s no chance you’ll get in trouble for harassment.
“What if I get rejected?”
If you try to talk to someone and they reject you, the whole world crumbles at your feet. What’s more, if you ask someone on a date and they say ‘no’, you’ll be deemed a loser by all of society for the rest of time. Just kidding…
Our brains like to envision the worst possible scenario when we’re about to do something brave, but these tend to be hilariously wide of the mark.
If you follow the rules above, the most common thing that’ll happen is: they’ll politely turn you down. The worst thing that’ll happen is: they’ll rudely turn you down, but only if they’re a terrible person (or if you were rude to them).
Either way, you’ll quickly learn that no-one else in the vicinity gives the slightest damn about you getting rejected. They’re too busy worrying about their own lives.
‘Offline Dating’ Is The Best Way To Meet A Partner!
You’re not the only one who hates online dating. The internet is jam-packed with blogs and social media posts written by frustrated online daters across the world.
It would appear most people use it because they think it’s an ‘easier’ way to meet a partner.
But that’s not always true.
When you approach your crush in real life, you put yourself to the front of the queue for their attention, instead of competing with all these other profiles.
What’s more, you’re able to use your personality to attract them, rather than having to rely on text and pictures. That gives you an undeniable advantage over the competition.
Even if you’re nervous to meet and ask someone out in real life, this is a skill worth cultivating. It becomes easier the more you do it.
Im Joe, and I travel the world working as a dating expert, confidence coach, and writer. I have written articles for the web’s most popular dating advice blogs and published two well-received books on dating and relationships. The Thrill Of The Chase is one of the books i’ve written.