You can lead a fulfilling dating life if you are ugly. The key to dating for ugly people is to develop other parts of your personality that the opposite sex would find attractive. On top of that, there’s plenty you can do to enhance your appearance, such as going to the gym or improving your style.
First of all, most guys blindly make an account on mainstream apps like Tinder, Bumble or Badoo, because these apps are the most popular in their country.
But these frantic swipe-based apps aren’t well suited for people who want a long-term relationship. They’re almost entirely image-based. They place pretty much no emphasis on personality, even though this is clearly what matters when it comes to building a lasting relationship.
That’s why I’m always recommending EHarmony to men and women searching for true love. This website requires its members to take an extensive personality test and will recommend them their perfect match based on the results. It’s incredibly effective, as proven by the fact that eHarmony is more responsible for more marriages in the United States than any other dating app.
Scroll down for a comprehensive list of actions you can take to make people want to date you when you’re ugly.
You Are The Prize!
This is the #1 tip for dating, no matter what you look like.
Don’t ever behave as if you’re below your crush, even if you think they’re better-looking than you.
You should always believe that you have as much to offer as they do.
Can you make people laugh? Can you show them a good time? Can you flirt with them in an arousing way? Are you pleasant to be around? Can you spark interesting conversations? Do you have a life someone else would want to be part of?
These qualities are all more valuable than an attractive face. Sure, there are some superficial people out there who don’t realize that yet, but there are plenty of intelligent men and women who understand this.
If you don’t believe you have anything to offer an attractive person, it’s time to work on yourself until this changes.
This work should definitely include improving your self-image. If you don’t love yourself, you’re not ready to love anyone else. However, you should also work on creating an awesome life that you enjoy, and someone else would be excited to share with you.
When you act as if you’re the prize, you radiate this confident energy that attracts people to want to be around you, even if you’re not a traditionally good-looking person.
When you try to date people who you think are above you, it causes you to act in a highly unattractive manner. You’re more likely to become jealous, needy, insecure, or willing to let your partner walk all over you. This will make you an unappealing dating prospect, whether you’re good-looking or not.
There are people who believe that looks are the only factor considered by attractive men and women when they’re choosing who to date. These people have not worked on developing an attractive personality or lifestyle. Because, if they did, they’d see for themselves that this is just as important as what you look like.
How To Land A Date When You’re Ugly
The key is being able to quickly show off your winning personality. If you can’t do that, you’re just going to be judged on your looks.
You should be approaching people, starting conversations, flirting with them, and asking them out. On its own, having the confidence to do that is going to be attractive in the eyes of most people. It also puts you at the front of the queue to meet them, which gives you a huge advantage over the people waiting to be approached or trying to meet them online.
Yes, you’ll inevitably pick up a few rejections when you’re the one instigating these flirty conversations. But, it’ll also land you more dates than being a wallflower.
Don’t listen to the myth that guys don’t like to be approached by women. Most guys would love that! Most women love being approached too – as long as it’s done in a confident, empathetic, and respectable way.
Social proof is another great hack to quickly show off your personality. You can display this in real life by bringing lots of cool and attractive friends to the bar, or wherever you plan on meeting people.
It can also be displayed via photos and videos on social media, so make sure you’re taking plenty when you’re out at fun events. Then, when you meet someone you’re interested in, keep in touch via Facebook/Instagram, etc (rather than phone numbers), so they can get an instant idea of how fun and awesome your life is.
Avoid Online Dating If You Are Ugly
Start thinking of yourself as an adventure novel. Your appearance is the cover. Your personality is the words inside.
It’s true that more people will be initially attracted to a book with an amazing cover. This is the first part of the book, and they will make snap judgments based on this.
Most won’t even open a book with a lousy cover.
That’s why ugly people should avoid online dating altogether. It’s the equivalent of showing someone a shoddy cover and asking them if they want to read the book. Why would they when they could just swipe through hundreds more attractive covers?
But, if you approach someone in real life, it’s like you’re giving them a sample of the plot immediately. Now, you have the opportunity to grab someone’s attention and excite them to the point that they don’t care about the cover anymore.
For that reason, if you do have a great personality, you’ll always be able to attract better-quality dates by meeting them in real life.
(If you don’t have a great personality, it’s time to start developing one).
Should You Lower Your Dating Standards If You’re Ugly?
On its own, being ugly is no reason to lower your dating standards.
However, if you’re ugly and barely bringing any other attractive qualities to the table, it might be time to look at what you deserve in a partner.
If you’re a fat, depressed, poor man living in your mum’s basement, it doesn’t make sense for you to only want to date famous Instagram models.
If you’re a bitter, old, and haggard woman, you shouldn’t only want to date celebrities, millionaires, and athletes.
Yes, you should have standards for a partner, but you should also make sure that what you’re bringing to the table matches them.
How To Make Yourself Better-Looking
The people who cry about being too ugly to land a date rarely do anything to improve how they look.
That’s crazy because there is so much you can do to make yourself more attractive.
Here is a list of actions you can take to transform your appearance.
Lose Weight
If you’re overweight, you’re viewed as unattractive by most of society. That is a fact, no matter what the latest fat acceptance movement tells you.
It’s not just that men and women are repelled by the thought of putting their hands on an overweight body. It’s also what being overweight says about your personality. When you’re fat, that’s visual evidence that you’re undisciplined and/or don’t take care of yourself. These are highly unattractive personality traits.
So, get exercising and reach a healthy body weight. When you lose weight from your body, your clothes begin to look better on you. When you lose weight from your face, it immediately becomes more attractive.
Yes, there are excuses to not lose weight. Look for a way around them and get it done.
Lift Weights
Lifting weights and building muscle is one of the most effective ways to transform your appearance for the better.
A high percentage of women are attracted to strong, muscular male bodies. A high percentage of men are attracted to toned athletic female bodies.
It’s common for women to complain that they don’t want to develop a masculine bodybuilder frame. But that is so hard for a woman to do. It’s almost impossible for them to do it by accident!
So, whatever your excuses are, make it happen!
Give Yourself A Fashion Makeover
The clothes maketh the man. A fashion makeover can transform a woman.
If you’re a guy, just wearing clothes that fit well can make a world of difference. If you’re a woman, dare to dress sexy, even if you don’t feel that way.
Keep up to date with the latest fashion trends and take part in them! There are professionals out there who can help you with this, but you’ll probably be able to make some great purchases with some help from your fashionable friends.
Improve Your Grooming
A new haircut that suits your face is another transformational move you can make today. Spend a bit extra on a hairdresser who understands what style will look best on you.
On top of that, start taking better care of your skin and your teeth. Your future self will thank you if you start doing this now.
Eat Healthier
A healthy diet will aid your journey to lose weight and/or gain muscle. On top of that, it can give your skin that sparkling glow, while giving you that dose of energy and vitality that attracts people towards you.
Final Thoughts
There’s no good reason to focus on being ugly when you’re trying to date someone.
When you act like an attractive person who has a lot to offer, people perceive you that way.
Focus on behaving like that, while also doing what you can to improve your looks, and you’ll be able to enjoy an amazing dating life.
Im Joe, and I travel the world working as a dating expert, confidence coach, and writer. I have written articles for the web’s most popular dating advice blogs and published two well-received books on dating and relationships. The Thrill Of The Chase is one of the books i’ve written.