The most important part of being smooth with a guy is to put in the effort and show you’re interested. Guys love girls who initiate the conversation and make the first move. Also, remember to be physical. Giggle a little and smoothly touch his arm when he is telling you a joke.
It’s a norm in society that men have to lead in a relationship. They have to ask the woman out on a date, initiate the conversation, make the first move. This is perfectly fine in some cases but it also puts women in a weird position sometimes. It could leave them uncomfortable with taking that role as that could make the man feel weird or it could also leave women feeling like they’re out of practice. Again, this is normal, but in 2021 gender norms are being broken and there’s a lot that can be done to make sure it’s being transcended. So this is how to be smooth with a guy more in-depth.
Let’s start with what can be done virtually first and then move on to in person. These are two different ballgames and must be treated as such.
Meeting Someone Online
Whether you’re going through tinder or meeting someone on social media, one of the first things that can be done to initiate this “dance” is matching with them. This means matching with someone on Tinder or sending a friend request on Instagram or Facebook. Be the first to follow and send a casual message. For example, “Hey! Maybe you’re someone I’d like to get to know.” This is only a start however because it’s also a little open-ended so don’t be surprised if it doesn’t result in anything.
Sending the first message
Yes, this is the first norm that should be broken in 2021. If you like someone, be the first to message, why not? This is slowly becoming more and more apparent that you are interested in someone or at least it should be but men are notorious for not picking up hints. Now, what does a good first message look like? This can vary depending on the situation.
Do you know this person in real life? If so, message them about something that connects the two of you. It should be subtle. “Hey, I’m looking for new places to eat in the area. Do you know any good ones?” This is a good example because it sparks a conversation that has some back and forth to it and that should buy you some time to keep the conversation going or at least let them continue the conversation.
If you don’t know the person in real life, it can get a little harder because you’re coming out of the blue. You could try a pickup line if you’re a little bolder. It’s a direct way to say you’re interested but also works as an icebreaker. They can also be funny which adds some levity to the conversation which is always helpful for appearing smooth. A good example of a pickup line might be “Are you french? Because Eiffel for you” It’s silly, it’s cheesy but most importantly it sends a message. There are plenty of pickup lines to look up online as well so you have that in your arsenal. A helpful tip is you wanna choose a pickup line that isn’t well known because that seems disingenuous and lazy and you will not be perceived as smooth.
So you don’t know the person in real life and you think the pickup line is not the way to go. This is getting a little more difficult but not to worry. What is important here is a good conversation starter. You want something that has potential for good conversation but also be light because this the first interaction being had. Again there are many directions to go with this. A good example of a conversation starter could be “Hey, what do you do to unwind?” This is good because it leads into a conversation of interests and what we do in our free time. The possibilities are endless: gaming, jogging, reading. You can follow this up with “What’s a nostalgic game for you?” or “What genre of books do you like?”
Another direction that can be taken when starting a conversation is a joke. Jokes are great tidbits of information designed to say “Laugh with me.” A good joke to tell is short and sweet: I like self-deprecating humor but I’m not very good at it. If they like it, good! You’re in! If not, apologize and ask them to tell you a better joke. Jokes are high risk so beware!
Keeping a Conversation Going
So you’re past the first message and talking! What is perhaps the hardest part is over. Keeping the conversation is the next part. If you wanna be smooth, you also have to accept that it is a give and take to have a conversation. The person you’re talking to should also lead the chat at times but you should as well because that’s how you show interest over the phone. If the person fails to lead on more than one occasion, it is a very real possibility that they are not interested. You have to be able to pick up on the signals as well as you are at sending them.
Having a Lively Chat
Being smooth while having a chat is about keeping a good conversation while being flirty as well. Ask questions to show you wanna know more about what’s going on with them. Throw jokes into your responses to show you have a sense of humor and that you’re someone that they can get along with. Humor cannot be understated because everyone wants to have a good time although this too must be done in moderation.
Give Responses with Effort
This should go without saying but do not give responses that are one-worded or simple phrases. This is no fun for everyone involved. If you’re running out of things to say, a hail mary pass could be “wyd (what are you doing?)” or “How was your day?”
Let’s say you’ve been smooth over the phone and you arrange to meet up with this guy in person! This is great news! Here are some tips to be smooth in person
A smile goes a long way. Obviously don’t overdo it but it shows you are having a good time and communicates friendliness. This is also a good way to get someone to fall head over heels for you. Smiling implies happiness and happiness attracts people because deep down we all want to be happy.
Again, do not overdo but laughing is a good sign that the date or meet-up is going well. Don’t laugh because you feel you have to but because you want to have a good time with this person. The laughing should also be coming from their part. Telling jokes is always high-risk but it shows you are willing to risk looking a little silly in hopes of seeing a smile on their face and this is a good thing.
Being smooth is about reminding the person you are happy to be with them and that you are interested. If you’re feeling friendly, hug them to say hello. If they tell a joke, laugh and give them a playful shove. Physical contact is a love language in itself and can become very intimate but this is for being deeper in a relationship. For now, be subtle. This of course culminates in holding hands which is the ultimate sign that something is going right in this interaction and that leads to the next subtopic.
Making the First Move
This is a really tough one. They say a man should make the first move, it’s true. And in my experience as a man, a lot of women leave it for the man because it’s such a daring act. But I know personally, I like when the woman makes the first move sometimes because it makes the man feel wanted and that’s a good feeling. Of course, to get to this point, it should not be out of anywhere. You must be reading the signs that things are indeed going well. This can mean kissing, holding hands, hugging, and more.
My name is Elias and I’m very interested in everything that has to do with dating and relationships. Writing has always been a big passion of mine and being able to write about what I love feels truly amazing. I have studied economics at Polhemskolan in Lund but now I’m more focused on learning more about dating and relationships.