How to Be Attractive When You’re Not Good Looking

If you’re not good-looking but want to be attractive, you should focus on playing your strengths in areas that can be managed such as grooming, fashion, personality, and traits. Dress nicely, get a good haircut, work on your social skills and you will appear more attractive to people.

Modern dating puts a strain on everyone because immediacy allows for so many options. For example, Tinder has you swipe on people based on pictures and a one-paragraph bio. That’s crazy! This also focuses more on looks which makes it harder if you think you’re not good-looking. It is tough but there are things you can do to be attractive in the eyes of potential partners. This is

How to Boost Your Attractiveness

While not being conventionally attractive can be tough on tinder, you simply have to play to your strengths and you can be unconventionally attractive which also has a market. After all, you have to play the hand you’re dealt. The key is to work on the things you can. We’re going to go over what you can do.

On Tinder

When on Tinder, it’s a little harder because you have two chances to get someone’s attention: your pictures and your bio. Here are some things to be more marketable.

Pictures

This is the toughest because you have to show yourself but it can also be an opportunity to show what you are like. Try choosing some photos that showcase you. If you play a sport like football, try posting a picture of you in uniform dribbling a ball. Something dynamic is really what you want. If you’re a student, you could post a picture of yourself with your laptop and some books looking tired (for comedic effect, we’ve all been there so it’s relatable). I like being silly so a picture I usually have is one of me tackling a statue of a bear. It’s a little dumb but it shows what I’m like and hopefully, it gives the impression I’m fun. One tip for this is taking a picture with animals (alive ones, not fish). Everyone loves a good picture with a cat or dog.

Bio

This is where you want to shine if you don’t think you’re good-looking. You want to write a compelling bio that is maybe funny but most of all it should be engaging and should make the other person think “Ok, this is someone I want to talk to.” You have to get creative or weird (not too weird) or happy or all of the above. A Tinder bio I came across that I thought was good went something along the lines of “You are in a coma! We are experimenting with a new technology to contact people in comatose. We’re not sure where this is going to reach you or how you will see this message.” This is incredibly creative, weird, and funny and it makes you question reality a little which is awesome. Think outside the box for this and you will get plenty of matches! It can be done.

Fashion

If you don’t think you’re a pretty person, that is ok. One thing you can do is work on your wardrobe because that is one of the first things someone notices about you. If you’re dressed in dirty, wrinkly clothes, it sends a message. On the other side of the spectrum, if you’re dressed in a suit and tie, you appear to be someone who cleans up nicely which is always a plus. The great thing is you don’t have to take it to such an extent. You can dress attractively by matching your clothes and choosing good ensembles. You first have to choose your style: clean with pastel colors and white shoes? The bad boy with a leather jacket and blue jeans? It’s all about showing your personality through your clothing but it must be presentable. If you’re looking for a safe way to dress, you could always go black chinos with a button-up short sleeve and white shoes. It looks good about 90% of the time and works for most occasions.

Haircut

Another thing you can work on is the haircut you choose. Mainly it means finding the one that suits you the most. The unfortunate part is that it may differ from the one you like and you’ll have to go through a lot of trial and error which costs time and money. Make a note when someone compliments your haircut because that may be the one. Some people look good with long hair, some with short hair, and some with both. However, women seem to like clean-shaven men more often than not. Maybe it’s synonymous with being fresh. There are exceptions of course.

Communication

Using words be hard sometimes. Therefore, if you’re someone who can express themselves well, people will respond positively. This is important because it can be worked on to the point where you excel at keeping a conversation going with a romantic interest. Keeping a conversation is important because someone who can’t do that will get boring quickly and it will not be a long interaction. On the flip side, someone who can continue to captivate attention and create meaningful, engaging dialogue which leads to a deeper connection. You can practice this by showing an interest in someone’s passions and interests. Maybe even work. There are aspects of communicating too.

Banter

Being able to go back and forth with someone creates a really fun conversation. This makes it exciting to connect with someone because you know you’re going to get a laugh (more on that later.) and not have a dry, boring conversation. Some ways you can practice this are by poking fun at what someone is saying happily. For example, if someone says “I had a hard time choosing what to wear.” you can reply by saying “I was distracted by your smile but you look great.” This shows a way to compliment someone but also adds something to the conversation. However, poking fun is an art form as well. You don’t wanna be too mean. Saying something like “you’re such a dork.” can be a good way to keep conversation light and fun. You can also make it self-deprecating to be sure you’re not offending anyone’s feelings. For example, if someone says “I’m ugly”(which happens sometimes) you could reply by saying “You’re doing a lot better than I am.”

Asking Insightful Questions

For this one, you have to show a genuine interest in someone and it requires a lot of work which shouldn’t feel like work. Asking questions is important because it is how you get to know someone’s likes and dislikes which also creates a deeper connection with someone. If someone is a fan of cooking, you could ask them what their favorite thing to cook is. This makes it apparent they like food so you can ask what their favorite ethnic food is too. This sparks a conversation on food that has the opportunity to get to know someone. It can also lead to different conversations. (Where would you visit if you could go anywhere, for example.) If someone reciprocates the feeling (or also knows how to work a conversation), they will also ask you questions about the things you’re talking about.

Using Emoticons Etc.

This one may not be as important to learn the ins and outs of because it is a plus to know the basics. The reason for this is some people think if you don’t use emojis, emoticons, gifs, and images, you come off as boring which you certainly don’t want. You can fix this with a simple “:)” at the end of a message at the very least but it would be a wasted opportunity because you could use this to your advantage. However, be careful for there is such a thing as using these too much which will turn people away. Takeaway: use in moderation.

Humor

Humor is a huge plus to have if you wanna come off as attractive. Humor is attractive in many people’s eyes but there is a line and someone who jokes too much can come off as immature or not serious. You have to be able to do both. However, for the most part, it is a good thing to have if you’re joking about the right things and keeping it light. This is tough at times because humor is subjective so know your audience.

Fitness

Something you can actively work on to be more attractive is being fit. You will generally come off as more attractive if you exercise regularly and look good. This is because you will fit clothes better, have a sharper jawline, and maybe have a little muscle (you ever see Thor?) It is a little sad but this is the truth. Of course, there are exceptions to this!

Personality

Probably the second most important thing is your personality because who you are will always be dealing with someone and if someone doesn’t like your personality, they probably won’t like you in the endgame. Being a kind, thoughtful person goes a long way and people WILL notice if you’re genuine. Certain personality traits are very attractive. Maturity comes off well because it shows you know when to play and when to take things seriously. Charming is received positively because flattering people and knowing your way with words can paint pretty pictures in someone’s mind.

Confidence

Perhaps the most important aspect in coming off as attractive is being confident with who you are. It is true when they say “Confidence will take you farther than looks.” because confidence says you know you aren’t perfect (no one is) and that’s ok but you want the things you want and you’re not afraid to go after them. A good practice if you’re not confident is to pretend you’re confident the best you can. You might like it!

Final Thoughts

There is no need to worry if you don’t think you are attractive. Just play to your strengths and work on the things that are indeed manageable. Not something you have no control over like the way you physically look. Be confident, be communicative, and be kind.