Do Guys Know When They’ve Met the One? 

Do guys know when they’ve met ‘The One’? It’s a tricky question and it depends on the man. However, there are some reliable truths about what most men will experience when they discover a woman is a perfect fit for them. 

When guys meet ‘The One’, there are some who will accept this and commit wholeheartedly. But some will sabotage this relationship due to unconscious fears or beliefs that they don’t deserve happiness. And some fall in love too easily, believing every woman who shows interest in them is ‘The One’.

But why does this happen? Below, we’ll dive into the depths of male psychology to explore why some guys have no problem accepting when they’ve met a suitable partner, while others tend to have a huge problem with this.   

The Problem With ‘The One’

Hollywood loves to romanticize the idea that there is only one person on this planet suitable for us to fall in love and enjoy a happily ever after.

This idea – while sounding somewhat romantic – is born from a scarcity mindset. Still, a lot of guys will get sucked in, as it’s plastered all over their televisions and movie screens from childhood onwards.  

Ironically though, this mindset could ruin their chances of finding love by getting them far too excited and desperate once they meet a suitable partner. This desperation will usually send his love interest running for the hills, leaving him alone and depressed that he messed up his chance with ‘The One’.

Maybe you’ve already ran from a desperate guy like this yourself. 

In reality, if a man or woman is somewhat attractive, there are plenty of people they could enjoy a lasting relationship with. 

It sounds less romantic, but if you approach dating with this abundance mindset, you’re far less likely to intimidate the person you’re falling in love with. 

All of the ‘cool guys’ you admire from afar probably do think like this.

So, for the rest of the guide, we’ll talk about guys knowing when they’ve found a ‘perfect partner’, rather than ‘The One’  

Why Do We Self-Sabotage When We Find Someone Amazing? 

To answer this question, let’s talk about thinking you’ve found ‘The One’, opening your heart to them only for it to not work out. 

That’s as painful as anything, right? 

It’s a bit like burning your hand on the stove for the first time, because your heart will tell you to never open up and leave yourself so vulnerable again.

And, after their first heartbreak, a lot of people will struggle to dive wholeheartedly into love again. Instead, they’ll act cagey and play hard to get. Some people will run away or do something to sabotage their chances of a loving relationship with this person. 

They might not know the real reason why they’re doing this. Perhaps they’ll themselves that they prefer to stay single or they’ll invent some excuse why this new love interest isn’t right for them, but this is usually just them masking their trauma. A lot of self-sabotage is subconscious – but it’s very common among those who have been hurt emotionally by a previous lover. Those who have been hurt by their parents or other family members might act the same way too.

Of course, if they continue to shun every potential love interest that pops up in their lives, they’re going to be alone forever – and most people don’t want that. 

The answer is to feel the fear and do it anyway. 

Dive into love even if you’re scared, but try to do so at a pace the other person is comfortable with. 

Yes, you might get hurt again, but the potential rewards are absolutely worth the risk.   

How To Know If You’ve Really Found ‘The One’

As unromantic as it sounds, a great first step is to remain single for a while, work on yourself to become an attractive guy, and date a lot of other women. 

This will teach a guy what kind of woman he really likes to date – and who he wants to avoid.

It’ll also stop him from falling for the first woman who shows interest and convincing himself that she’s ‘The One’, when he’s actually so lonely that he’ll accept anyone.

Then, with all this experience under his belt, he’ll be able to spot his perfect partner when she appears. Hopefully, as an experienced dater, he won’t overwhelm her and scare her away.

After this point, the only remaining hope would be that he’s emotionally healthy enough to accept her love when she gives it.

Why Do Some Guys Want to Be Players?

Some guys date a lot of women because they want a lot of romantic experiences before they settle down. As mentioned, this isn’t so deplorable. It can actually stop men longing for the fun of singledom after they’re married, because they’ve got that out of their system.  

However, some guys remain as ‘players’ because they’ve been hurt by their ex – and are too afraid to dive into a committed relationship again (although it’s rare they’ll admit this or even consciously know it).  

There are also immature guys who love the sense of validation they get from sleeping around and are not ready to give that up to be with one person only. 

To spot someone worth settling down with, you need to understand which one of these categories you fall into. Then, you need to find the bravery to forego the single life and give your heart to this special person, even though there’s a risk of them breaking it.  

Why Do Some Guys Act Like Simps?

A simp is someone who gives their romantic interest huge amounts of affection, even when they’ve done nothing to earn it. The classic example is the nerd who showers Instagram models with likes, comments and financial donations despite getting next to attention in return.

In many ways, they’re the polar opposite of players, as they’re willing to open their heart to anyone who will accept it. Also, players tend to be somewhat successful with women, while simps are not.

The main reason why men engage in simping is because they believe it will work. That’s what watching too many romantic movies will do to you. 

If you delve deeper in a simp’s psychology though, you’ll usually find that many act this way because they don’t believe they’re good enough for a woman without offering this level of worship. They’re overcompensating due to a lack of self-esteem, essentially. 

Dive even deeper and you’ll find some simps worshipping one woman they know they have no chance with, as a way of avoiding the pursuit of real love (and the potential pain that comes alongside it). 

Want To Learn More About This Subject?

If you want to learn more about the topics discussed in this guide, I’d highly recommend you learn about the three attachment styles. 

These are most commonly labeled as: healthy, anxious, and avoidant. 

• A healthy attachment style is: someone who can fall in love and pursue this person at a healthy pace.  
• An anxious attachment style is: someone who falls in love hard and becomes anxious when the other person doesn’t show affection as intensely as them. 
• An avoidant attachment style is: someone who pushes away anyone they begin to fall for, usually because they’re subconsciously scared of being hurt.

Anyway, the book ’Attached’ by Amir Levine explores these three attachment styles and how they tend to interact with each other in much more detail. Those with a solid understanding of their own attachment style and those of others will be far better equipped to build successful romantic relationships in the future. So, it’s well worth giving that book your attention. 

Final Thoughts

Thanks for reading my guide. I hope it gives you a better understanding of why your love interest is acting the way he is. 

If you think there’s a connection he’s running from, perhaps it’s best to calmly talk some sense in him. Tell him he has nothing to be afraid of by committing to you. You could even share this guide as a way of easing into the conversation. 

Best of luck!