Complete Guide To Dating For Nerds 2022

Welcome to your comprehensive guide to dating when you’re a nerd.

The key to attracting great partners is to OWN your nerdiness. Confidence and self-love are two of the most attractive traits, so show these in abundance. If you can use your nerdiness to earn a ton of money and provide a great lifestyle for your family, that’s even better.

This guide will reveal all of the personality traits you need to attract a great partner as a nerd. So, grab a pen and paper, take some notes and follow through on what you learn. 

Online Dating Is Important In 2022

It’s important to realize that most online dating websites are entirely image-focused. 

You can write the cleverest, wittiest bio, but most people will overlook you if you have bad photos.

If you are going to give online dating a go, it’s worth investing in a photoshoot with a professional photographer. They’ll know how to make you look your best, in a set of high-resolution photos with perfect framing and lighting that create that aura of a high-status person. 

If you can add photos that showcase a cool lifestyle that other people would want to be a part of, that will really help too. 

But, even then, the odds are against you as a guy. Most online dating websites have an undesirably skewed man/woman ratio – and studies show that the top 78% of attractive women are only trying to message the top 20% of attractive men.

Meanwhile, if you’re a woman, you can expect to be overwhelmed with messages on most dating apps. But the most attractive guys are most likely not going to settle down with you, because they have the pick of every other woman on that app.

This is why I recommend eHarmony for men and women looking to find a long-term relationship online. 

Why is EHarmony the Best Dating Website for Finding True Love?

EHarmony is an online dating website almost entirely focused on PERSONALITY. 

All members are required to complete an extensive personality test before finishing their registration. The results of this test are used to suggest the most compatible matches in their local area. 

The matching algorithm has been praised for its incredible accuracy over the years. It has led to roughly 70% of eHarmony members finding their spouse within a year of signing up to the website. Shout out to the nerds who created it!

If you’re a nerd, you’re going to be recommended to people who like nerds. You’re not going to be recommended to people who like Chads, Beckys and Stacys. And that’s fine. In fact, that’s what makes eHarmony work so well.   

Here’s a big reason why so many eHarmony members find their true love. They’re only given a handful of matches to message per day. This means your perfect match will have time to read and respond to your message, instead of it being lost in a sea of messages from less compatible members.

Another reason is that eHarmony is somewhat expensive. The high price point leads most eHarmony members to take their search for love seriously. They want a return on their investment. Meanwhile, those who aren’t that bothered about finding ‘The One’ yet won’t stump up the cash.

EHarmony has a near-enough 50/50 gender split and it has won awards for the quality of its user base. So, if you’re a nerd looking for your one true love, there’s no better website to begin your search. 

Are Nerds Cool? A Quick Lesson On Frame Contro

I found two interesting definitions of ‘nerd’, which showcase two different frames of this stereotype. 

  1. A person devoted to intellectual, academic, or technical pursuits or interests.
  2. A foolish or contemptible person who lacks social skills or is boringly studious.

The first definition is from Merriam-Webster and focuses on the positive aspects of a nerd. The second definition is from the Oxford English Dictionary and focuses on the negative qualities.

So, here’s the question: which definition do you relate to more?

If you truly believe that nerdiness is cool and showcase the positive qualities of being a nerd, you’ll attract a lot of romantic interest. Confidence is sexy, after all!

And it is cool to be intellectual and academic. You should be able to earn a lot of money with a lot of knowledge. You should be able to talk about a range of topics, plus you probably have a job that makes a difference in this world. 

If you believe that nerds are undeniably unattractive, other people will believe that too. It’s called the law of state transference.  

There are plenty of ‘prank’ videos on YouTube of guys picking up women while dressing and acting as a nerd. Why does it work? Because these guys are still confident in the way they approach women. They OWN their nerdiness. They think their nerdy pick-up lines are funny, so the girls think it’s funny too. They have good energy, show the woman a good time, and confidently ask to swap phone numbers. So, the women agree. Their ‘frame’ is that nerds are cool, so the women agree. This is the law of state transference in effect.

Meanwhile, there are rich guys who always dress in designer clothes, who still don’t think or act like they’re good enough for women, so the women agree.

The strength of your ‘frame’ is so important when it comes to attracting the opposite sex. So, it’s about time you framed nerds as being super-attractive. 


If you’re a man who is useless at messaging women on dating apps, I’d recommend you buy Ice White’s book ‘The Message Game’. This book is packed with effective messaging tactics, proven to excite women and make them want to meet you. The author has included screenshots from his own online dating escapades to prove it, plus the book has received numerous five-star reviews from those who have tried the strategies themselves.

By the way, Ice is a good friend of mine and he’s the nerdiest guy I know! He used his nerdy qualities to test what works when messaging women. All I needed to do to land dates was to copy his lines. 

Use Your Nerdiness to Master Social Skills

A lot of people think that attractiveness is something you either have or don’t have.

Not true. 

Seduction is a skill that you can improve with practice.

The old-school pick-up artist community was created by self-confessed nerds in the early 2000s.

They figured out the science of seduction and used it to create a step-by-step guide to get women.

If you’re a somewhat nerdy guy, you could do the same. 

While old-school pick-up artist tactics are mocked in some quarters, they’re still effective. The psychology of attraction hasn’t transformed in the space of two decades. So, if you’re the type of person who responds well to learning formulas, it won’t hurt to read more about ‘Mystery Method’. 

The main criticism of ‘Mystery Method’ is that the self always shines through in the end. So, if your pick-up formulas aren’t backed by core confidence, you’ll always lose the woman eventually. That’s why I started this guide explaining the importance of OWNING YOUR NERDINESS.

Indeed, most modern dating coaches focus on helping their clients gain core confidence, rather than teaching them specific lines or routines. Their business works on the premise that anyone can become socially confident by socializing a lot, learning from their mistakes and improving. Whether you’re a man or a woman, I strongly urge you to do this. 

You’re not going to become a master at socializing or dating by staying indoors playing video games every day.  You can be a nerd who still goes outside and socializes, and that’s what I’d encourage you to do if you want to create more opportunities to land dates. 

I used to hate being single, going out to bars and getting rejected by women. Now, I love the process of meeting and flirting with hotties. My book ‘The Thrill Of The Chase’ explains how I learned to enjoy the single life and start attracting the women I always wanted. 

Nerds Can Still Be Physically Attractive

Whether you’re a man or a woman, the best thing you can do to become more physically attractive is to get in shape by eating healthily and working out.  

You can be a nerd and still go to the gym!

You can also be a nerd who invests in better clothes and grooming. Hopefully, you’ve used your nerdy brain to earn money and be able to afford this. 

Now, you can use your nerdy research skills to discover what looks are most attractive and copy them. 

Final Thoughts

Being a nerd isn’t a hurdle to dating, unless you think it is. 

I personally think nerds are better suited to learn how to date successfully.

You’ve got the guidelines in this article. Now, it’s up to you to use them. Excelsior!